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The Universal Law of Gender 
    By Keira Taylor (Kai Nkosi)
​
Our understanding of the Law of Gender comes to us from the genius of our African ancestors, who also created the first known religious systems, provided the original astrological layout of the cosmos, and supplied the unsurpassed social, scientific and civilizing knowledge upon which the world’s civilizations were built. Ancient Egypt and its Mystery Schools were home to the teachings of the Divine Feminine and the Law of Gender, which ultimately became ubiquitous teachings in the ancient world. The knowledge of gender specific governing principles represents the ultimate in African wisdom, which enlightened the world.

The Law of Gender is one of the Seven Hermetic Laws belonging to the people of Ancient Kemet or Egypt. However, during the height of Greek civilization these Kemetic principles were only half-heartedly attributed to Thoth, the Egyptian god of wisdom, who was said to have lived and taught in both Atlantis and Egypt for over 2,000 years. Later, the Greeks became less magnanimous, and in defiance of historical fact, began attributing the Seven Hermetic Laws to one mythological figure, Hermes Trismegistus, a composite figure of Hermes, the Greek god of wisdom. A final form of the Seven Hermetic Laws have more recently taken the form of a greater work, The Kybalion, the basis for the system of Kabbalah in modern times.

One of the immutable, Seven Hermetic Principles, The Law of Gender, unravels the great and perplexing mystery of the duality of the universe, the masculine-feminine energetic dynamic and its application throughout the cosmos. The principle states,

“Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine Principles. Gender manifests on all planes.” – The Kybalion

The Hermetic Law of Gender helps us to understand that the masculine – feminine principle is at work in all things on the physical, mental, and spiritual planes. On the physical plane, the principle of gender is manifested as sex, and on higher planes it manifests as dimensions of power and rule. Each and every individual has both dimensions at work within. Both male and female, masculine and feminine, father and mother, mater and pater, reside within each individual on deep psychic levels. The typical male gender characteristics of dominion, conquest, provider, and planter represent the counterpart to typical female traits of nurturing, communicating, relating, and conceiving. The wisdom of the universe has designed it so that generation, reproduction, and creation are not possible without both dimensions, masculine and feminine, unifying. Nothing can be effectively produced without the interfuse of these two dimensions. The seed without the womb cannot produce life, and its opposite holds true.  The Law of Gender unfolds the mystery of the universe and represents the fountain of all wisdom as it relates to assisting humanity in finding resolution to the challenges of human relations and in the human discovery of global solutions.
                             
Hermetic teachings influenced Asian conceptualizations of the cosmos, and at the heart of Classical Chinese philosophy, science, and medicine lies the principle of Yin and Yang. The idea is that the cosmos is one of duality revealing good and bad, light and darkness, higher order and lower order, the masculine and feminine elements. Yin conceptually represents the female-passive state, while Yang represents the male-active element. According to Ancient Chinese philosophy, the positive fusion of the two cosmic forces manifested the visible world. Although Yin and Yang are opposites, they are complimentary, and make up a unified whole with each element bringing its unique energy and distinct creative force with the effect of transforming the other.
              
As Hermetic influences traversed the ancient world, we find the Law of Gender infused in Ancient Hindu mythology and mysticism. In the Hindu pantheon, the goddess Shakti and the god Shiva take prominent roles. Shakti represents the sacred, active force of power and energy, and is the personification of the Divine Feminine, or the “Divine Mother”. While, Shiva represents the masculine principle or pure, empty consciousness. Shakti, as the maternal cosmic energy offers provision, nurture, warmth, love, and security, while Shiva, as the paternal cosmic energy and consciousness represents the unchanging, unlimited and detached observer. Shiva becomes the empty screen or blank canvass upon which Shakti can project vision. In the unifying of this two cosmic energies, a creative force of manifestation, movement and action can occur.
              
In Hindu mysticism, pure energy (Shakti) without pure consciousness (Shiva) is misdirected energy unable to produce manifestation. The opposite holds true, wherein empty consciousness (Shiva) is void without the force of energy (Shakti) necessary to release its latent potential. What is more, the symbolism of Shakti and Shiva teach us that consciousness impregnates active energy, and in this consummation, manifestation is possible.
              
On the physical plane, Shakti and Shiva represent the sexual energies between the masculine and feminine necessary to bring forth life, thus explaining the mysterious and inescapable lure of attraction between the sexes.  On the spiritual plane, these twin energies were separated in creation, resulting in the existing dualistic cosmos. This past separation of the masculine and feminine energies is what causes the attraction between the two forces, and the attempt to reconnect, reunite, and reestablish oneness. Ultimately, Shakti and Shiva represent the union between human and divine consciousness and the goal of all spiritual practice.
              
In the Pentateuch, The Book of Genesis, in particular, we are introduced by the Ancient Hebrews to Abram and Sarai, who later become Abraham and Sarah. These two biblical figures are no mere figurative characters, instead, they respectively represent spheres of masculine and feminine power and energy. They are divinely assigned titles; The Father of Many Nations and The Mother of Many Nations. These titles are in no way insignificant since they represent dimensions of spiritual life and jurisdictional power on both the spiritual and mental planes. On the physical planes, both father and mother, pater and mater are given a dichotomy of prophetic influence, as well as intergenerational blessing and impact. Their equal titles infer that both dimensions are necessary for intergenerational and spiritual reproduction. Clearly, one dimension cannot co-exist without the other; neither is inferior. Sarah is no mere servant, but represents a spiritual equality necessary to the working out of Divine redemptive purpose (Taylor,   ).
              
Abraham, the earthly carrier of the fathering dimension, represents the governing, ruling, pioneering and visionary function; while Sarah in her mothering dimension, represents the birthing, nurturing, teaching, conceiving functions necessary to deliver and manifest what is planted by Abraham. This is not to say that these functions are static; instead, they are fluid and can be operative in either gender. In order for Abraham and Sarah to have achieved their destiny fulfillment, both masculine and feminine energies were compelled to join forces to produce the heavenly promises (Taylor   ).
              
In more recent times, Carl Gustav Jung, the Father of Analytical Psychology, with his knowledge of Hermetic Law, developed the brilliant Theory of the Collective Unconscious, introducing the modern world to a theory of gender archetypes referred to as the anima-animus. According to Jung, the anima is the unconscious feminine psychic profile within the male, while the animus is the unconscious masculine psychic profile of within the female. Jung postulated that within each male was a fully operative female energy and within each female, therein lies a fully operative, yet unconscious male energy. These psychic profiles are archetypical (not a composite of socially or culturally derived traits) and represent the collective psychic energy of the ages; fueling the latent drives behind human thought and behavior.
              
The African worldview of the masculine and feminine dynamic is that the two represent the harmonious balance within the cosmos; positively impacting the individual, the community, and the world. The perspective of Ancient African wisdom is that the male and female were viewed as complimentary and essential counterparts helping us to understand the greater duality of the universe, as well as the duality within ourselves. Within the African male-female dynamic, the emphasis is upon role and function, and has less to do with western ideals of equality.
              
The African woman was venerated and worshipped as the source of all life. Historical records and DNA testing have provided the evidence that an African woman was the first Eve, or “Mother of All Living”. Finch, suggests that primordial man did not fully understand the role sex played in procreation and therefore erroneously believed that the woman possessed some magical and divine ability to produce life within herself without the partnership of the male. Therefore, the African woman was worshipped as the source of life and in many cultures she was deified. Thus, the original African conceptualizations of God were of the Divine Feminine. Subsequently, our first social systems were matriarchal systems, which established mankind’s first moral guidelines influencing human thought and behavior.
              
The African woman was honored and revered in ancient times. We find evidence of this in Ancient Egypt and Kush where matriliny was practiced and children took on the surnames of their mothers. In Ancient Kush, the Queen Mother determined the Pharaoh’s successor. Succession to the throne in ancient sub-Saharan Africa was matrilineal up until the 12th century. The African traditions of matrilineal succession followed strict guidelines based upon the wisdom that in matters of lineage, one can only be certain of the mother of a child (Cheikh Anta Diop) However, with Islamic and foreign invasions of Africa, as well as the advent of European colonialism, came an insidious misogynistic dominance, rendering the African woman subordinate to the African man,  thus creating the imbalance and tension within the masculine-feminine dynamic that the African community and diaspora continues to counter.
              
As we progress into this new age, humanity once again has the opportunity to draw from the deep reservoir of wisdom gifted to us by our African ancestors. As we seek solutions to solving existing tensions within the male-female dynamic, strengthening the family, reducing conflicts between and amongst nations, addressing the massive corruption and failures of global systems, ameliorating the effects of crippling poverty, and introducing much needed educational reforms; the knowledge and practical application of the ancients becomes vitally important. Ethnic and religious wars continue to rage threatening human existence, signifying that fact that humanity is in need of the reevaluation of our priorities and values. If there ever were a time to reintroduce the wisdom of the Ancient Africans, it would be now. The Seven Hermetic Principles are more relevant now than ever.

According to ancient astrology, every 2,160 years, there is a transition into a new energetic dynamic, which dominates and characterizes the spiritual, physical, and mental plane throughout the age. With the closing of the masculine Piscean Age of disunity, dominance, and violence, humanity is experiencing a war-weariness, and a spiritual and conscious awakening to the fact that our weapons of war cannot solve the global problems. There is a universal outcry for the manifestation of a more feminine energy to redeem global systems. The feminine dimension brings with it the distinct capacity for communication, cooperation, and collaboration. These feminine traits have been suppressed during the Age of Pisces. However, the dawning Age of Aquarius, thought to begin anytime between the year 2,000 up through the year 2,500 or so, brings with it a dominant feminine energy that will manifest global solutions and a stunning global spiritual awakening as we have not witnessed hitherto. This is not to say that masculine energy will be futuristically suppressed. On the contrary, in this upcoming age we will witness the harmonious co-existence between the masculine and feminine dimensions.

Futuristically, the interfuse between masculine and feminine energetic forces will uplift humanity in significant ways. The Universal Law of Gender instructs that the conjoining of these two dimensions, both masculine and feminine, will release the power to elevate humanity, while saving us from ourselves. Rather than witnessing the manifestation of our apocalyptic fears, the harmonious interplay between masculine and feminine will manifest the revitalization of global systems, a greater unity between and amongst nations, a respect for environmental restoration, a renaissance in scientific and medical discoveries, major religious reformations, global economic cooperation and partnerships, a renewal of human rights, and finally, a greater spiritual awakening for humanity.

It's almost here! Pre-order your copy of Dr. Keira Taylor's new book,
,Audacity: Reclaiming Yourself in Midlife! 


Dr. Keira is a spiritual teacher who embodies the essence of an inspirationalist, futurist, and thought leader. A pure intellectual, Dr. Keira is iconoclastic in her tone of writing, as she endeavors to unpack the weighty topics of authentic spirituality, philosophy, religion, as well as higher individual and collective consciousness.

As a celebrated and masterful spiritual teacher, Dr. Keira spent over 20 years in Christian pastoral ministry and has an earned doctorate (D. Min), which culminated her body of work in the pastoral office. With a Masters in Psychology, she seeks to help others to discover the balance between the life of the psyche (soul) and the spirit. She is the author of four books, The Matriarchal Dimension, The Prophetic Dimension, Spiritual Protocol and her current release, Audacity: Reclaiming Yourself in Midlife. Her fifth book, Spiritual Intelligence will be released in early 2015.

A native New Yorker, Dr. Keira is fierce and fearless. She is unapologetic for her unorthodox views and critique of religion and its nonsensical practice. She is an advocate of spiritual autonomy, which negates the need for external religious authority. Dr. Keira is based in Atlanta, Georgia; also writing under the pseudonym, Kai Nkosi, meaning Fire Ruler.

Audacity: Reclaiming Yourself in Midlife is Dr. Keira’s most recent book, which advocates successful passage through the midlife season. Contrary to popular belief, the midlife transition is not an abnormal experience, but a normal and necessary stage of spiritual and psychological development along the adult developmental lifespan. Dr. Keira identifies the challenges, tasks, and triumphs of midlife and encourages readers to reclaim their lives by choosing to create the life and the love they want.

Order your copy now!


  Standard Copy $20.00 USD    Signed Copy $40.00 USD    Ebook $20.00 USD   




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HUMANITY IS SHIFTING

By Dr. Keira Taylor/K.Nkosi

Humanity is slowly shifting from a fearful and lower consciousness into one that is higher and more humane. In this perplexing time of disorientation, nothing remains the same; it is as though the ground has shifted beneath us. We are secretly restless and searching for our sacred truth. Our restlessness signifies that our souls are longing for a more authentic experience with the Divine.

Along with this shifting, we sense a shattering of our sacred illusions. We no longer hold our cherished institutions with such reverence. We mistrust government and its corrupted economic manipulation. We are skeptical of our leaders. Our politicians and priests are failing us. We can no longer esteem them. We now know they are mere humans. Only now are we beginning to comprehend that our government has been compromised. Sadly, our notions of exceptionalism have faded. Finally, we are shedding our delusions of grandeur.

We are dealing with blurred lines between right and wrong; nothing is simply black or white anymore. We therefore resign ourselves to the shades of gray. In times like these many of us find ourselves wanting to return back to simpler, less complicated times. Somehow, we find it easier to return to the old religious landmarks that served us well in years gone by.  While, some desire to retreat to the past, I choose to lean forward into the future and wholeheartedly welcome this anticipated era of stunning social and spiritual progression. Welcome to a new age and a new time of personal and collective evolution.

Everything must change. The dramatic global, social, and spiritual changes taking place do not constitute any revolution; instead, they signify a spiritual and social evolution or expansion in consciousness. Change is inevitable. Over time, change and progression are divinely ordered in the cosmos. Change is never random, but by a sacred and intelligent design. Change comes to shake nations, to disrupt social order, to destabilize norms. Even greater, change comes to each of our lives; not as a thief, but as a gift. Change brings with it a transitional process that empowers us to gather the courage to seek to know the answers to the uncertainties of life. In this state of imposed disorientation, only then can we develop the personal power to let go of all we thought we knew.

Our disillusionment only means we are approaching the end of our collective spiritual childhood. We no longer need the narcissistic fantasy of human or spiritual perfection. We no longer demand it from ourselves, nor from others. We finally understand that this earthly plane is a place to learn and grow, to change, to make mistakes, and to behave as human do. Only now can we embrace others with non-judgment.  We are learning to trust ourselves, to hear honor own voices, and to embrace our own spiritual genius.

As fully autonomous and discerning spiritual beings, we no longer have any need to be governed by external religious authority. For most, external religious authority is optional; not mandatory. What is more, our personal spiritual paths and truths have become sacred. We trust our inner integrity and intuition. We don’t need the approval of any overreaching religious affiliation as our parents and grandparents did. This spiritual shifting represents an important shaking and destabilization that must take place before we can abandon our collective spiritual infancy, and futuristically move toward embracing a more mature, humane, and ethical conceptualization of the Divine. This is the commencement of a new and amazing epoch in human history, where en masse, we shed our false ideals and embrace our personal and sacred truths. It is during this intersection in time, that we summon the courage to begin to exchange our hallowed mythologies for an inclusive, loving, and humane system of belief that does no harm to ourselves, or to others.

There is a spiritual movement emerging that is easily recognizable, but difficult to define. This movement of Spirit is reforming our past religious ideals and paradigms. Although I have been tracking this move for some time, I remain hesitant to assign a name to this movement, since the assignment of a name to any move of Spirit diminishes our perception of it. Since spiritual movements defy the parameters we attempt to ascribe to their unique patterns and manifestations, it may be best that I simply describe traits displayed by individuals affected by this distinct move of Spirit in this hour.  

From every ethnicity, nation, and religious affiliation, spiritually inclined individuals are rejecting the limitations imposed by rigid religious structures, which no longer serve them well. These are seekers who have experienced an accelerated evolution in spiritual and social consciousness, enabling them to perceive the universality of spiritual principles, and to reject fear-based theology and dogma, which invariably brings harm to others.

These are individuals who have transcended religious thought systems and therefore have less need for religious structure and the paternalistic oversight associated with traditional religious practice. Most of the individuals on this path have had the experience of being heavily involved in religious affiliation and in some way either naturally outgrow the experience, or have experienced some form of disillusionment attached to the affiliation. Invariably, the individual has come in contact with the ugly underbelly of religion. Through their experiences, they discover that there is no human, nor spiritual state of perfection. What is more, to expect or demand perfection of anyone is a dangerous proposition. Furthermore, if the state of religious perfection is proclaimed, then it is a patently false claim. Holiness belongs to God alone.

The experience of a human soul struggling to be free of vices and human weakness for fear of the wrath and punishment of God is the basis of all unhealthy religious bondage and psychological distress. Those that transcend these primitive and unsophisticated religious thought systems reject a fear-based theology, and embrace God as a teacher, rather than a punisher. The transcendent soul views God as a source of incomprehensible love and non-judgment, rather than the primordial, wrathful, and vindictive God; full of the fury of eternal punishment. These harmful conceptualizations of the Divine have been overcome.

 Those with the grace to transcend religious affiliation represent a global movement that rejects exclusion, discrimination, homophobia, xenophobia, ethnocentrism, misogyny, and divisiveness in all of its forms parading as religious doctrine and, even more egregiously, the word of God. We discover that religion is often dismissive of diversity, science, and support of the environment. Additionally, religion is most often hostile to alternative lifestyles, and is both exclusive and divisive in function producing war, violence, genocide, ethnic cleansing, political infighting and civil disruptions, etcetera.

Religious indoctrination leaves its followers with an arrogant and false sense of superiority, and an ugly contempt for different others. Religion demands an impossible degree of thought and behavior control entirely dismissive of the non-conformist and the intellectual souls who tend to think for themselves. Religious thought systems build moratoriums around certain revelation and interpretations of scripture. While these doctrines only represent theories about God, they are treated as sacred absolutes, and can go for centuries without critique. The problem is that these theories about God (doctrines) represent a primeval and infantile spiritual consciousness that do not belong to this present age.  An ancient text, no matter how venerated or revered for its wisdom, cannot provide the literal script for the modern soul operative in higher and more enlightened consciousness. When we attempt to bring an old script into a new age, the old script can only produce an irrelevance, and a social and cultural disconnection.

On the contrary, a spiritual transcendent is a free-thinker, who has sought their own answers and has done the research into what it is they believe and have attained a degree of spiritual autonomy. It is mind-boggling in this day and age that we would leave our spiritual destiny to others. Typically, the religious devotee, busy with the demands of daily life, finds no time, nor inclination to do the research for themselves. As a result, we allow our external religious authority to teach us, train us, correct us, advise us, and to inform us. The religious authority in our lives acts as the paternalistic figure with full authority to shape our daily decisions on money, sex, the raising of our children, our political opinions, and our relations with different others. The danger in all of this entire process of willful and blissful submission is that we never have to think for ourselves.

We are conditioned to reject and dismiss our own thoughts in any given instance. Like children, we are weekly trained to become more and more docile, more and more compliant and led by others. Over time, this system may fail us and we betray ourselves. However, there is an emerging masse of spiritual seekers who have learned not to check their brains at the door of any church, mosque, or synagogue. With the grace to think for themselves, those who transcend religious thought systems overcome what is deemed religious overreaching and the nonsensical, while following a path of spiritual intelligence and autonomy. For those influenced by this current movement of Spirit, religious traditions may not be altogether abandoned, but their structure is only an optional component as it relates to their spiritual development.

The transcendent soul’s perspective is that there is no absolute reality. Each individual’s conscious reality is their own, reflecting the innumerable global belief systems and religious affiliations. With over 6 billion people in the world it would be utterly impossible for there to be one limiting perception, definition, and practice of worshiping the Divine. The spiritually evolved do not feel the need to convince others that their system of belief should represent any absolute truth or reality for everyone. There is no compulsive need to become responsible for the eternal destiny of anyone on the planet and there is the keen refusal to assume God’s role in matters of eternal destiny. The spiritual transcendent understands that the only individual they are responsible for is themselves. The only individual one must master is himself.

 The wisdom of God has provided many paths and practices reflecting the pure and undefiled knowledge of the Most High. Even greater, there are innumerable sources of spiritual wisdom, guidance, and instruction since the wisdom of God could never be contained and limited to one text. Firstly, for the majority of those on the path of higher consciousness, no ancient text is infallible, nor does any ancient text represent any highest or final authority. Secondly, many ancient texts are hallowed and venerated, but most also represent a high degree of unreliability; full of error and contradiction. Thirdly, those that transcend religious thought boxes, reject textual literalism, which has trapped Christianity, in particular, and religion, in general, in the disaster of legalism for some 2,000 years. All ancient mythologies were intended to be understood symbolically, and never to be interpreted literally – all venerated ancient scholars and teachers understood this fact. It was not until Constantine hi-jacked Christianity for his own political gain, that his scholars chose literalism over a symbolic and higher order interpretation of scripture in an effort to bring Constantine’s entire empire under one controlling thought system. Since this time, literalism in the hands of the masses has been a disaster; spreading falsehoods, treating mythology as truth, and making false claims. On the contrary, the spiritually transcendent individual has their experience, as well as their inner integrity as their highest authority governing their decision-making and judgments. Ancient wisdom texts are reverenced and relied upon for counsel and guidance, but they are in no way understood as infallible, since they represent primordial man grasping to know the Divine, and make sense of a diverse world he did not fully understand.  

Therefore, those that spiritually transcend religious affiliation have undergone a passage of transformation allowing them to perceive themselves, not as separate and apart from others, but as part of the whole of humanity. The love, compassion, and understanding expressed by this rapidly growing number of spiritually evolved individuals is not limited to those of their collective social or ethnic group, but their concern is with serving humanity as a whole. The concern of the spiritual transcendent is not only with those that look like and think like them, but with that which benefits humanity as a whole.

Finally, this move of Spirit is revealing what most already know in their gut, but have not been free to think – that is that God is not Christian, Muslim, or Jew. God is not a democrat or republican. For that matter, God is not an American. Rather, the Divine, transcends and defies all of the limiting constructs we create for him or her. In like manner, the mass of people currently ascending spiritually defy traditional descriptions and expectations. Perfectly wise and integral, this emerging spiritual seeker is mature, in no way a novice, empathic, gifted, and unapologetic. These wise souls have become a powerful force of reckoning. We are witnessing a stunning movement. Its time has come.

Peace.

It's almost here! Pre-order your copy of Dr. Keira Taylor's new book,
Audacity: Reclaiming Yourself in Midlife! 

Dr. Keira is a spiritual teacher who embodies the essence of an inspirationalist, futurist, and thought leader. A pure intellectual, Dr. Keira is iconoclastic in her tone of writing, as she endeavors to unpack the weighty topics of authentic spirituality, philosophy, religion, as well as higher individual and collective consciousness.

As a celebrated and masterful spiritual teacher, Dr. Keira spent over 20 years in Christian pastoral ministry and has an earned doctorate (D. Min), which culminated her body of work in the pastoral office. With a Masters in Psychology, she seeks to help others to discover the balance between the life of the psyche (soul) and the spirit. She is the author of four books, The Matriarchal Dimension, The Prophetic Dimension, Spiritual Protocol and her current release, Audacity: Reclaiming Yourself in Midlife. Her fifth book, Spiritual Intelligence will be released in early 2015.

A native New Yorker, Dr. Keira is fierce and fearless. She is unapologetic for her unorthodox views and critique of religion and its nonsensical practice. She is an advocate of spiritual autonomy, which negates the need for external religious authority. Dr. Keira is based in Atlanta, Georgia; also writing under the pseudonym, Kai Nkosi, meaning Fire Ruler.

Audacity: Reclaiming Yourself in Midlife is Dr. Keira’s most recent book, which advocates successful passage through the midlife season. Contrary to popular belief, the midlife transition is not an abnormal experience, but a normal and necessary stage of spiritual and psychological development along the adult developmental lifespan. Dr. Keira identifies the challenges, tasks, and triumphs of midlife and encourages readers to reclaim their lives by choosing to create the life and the love they want.

Order your copy now!

Monogamy is the belief in the lifetime spiritual, emotional, and sexual relationship commitment between two people. Monogamy has been the preferred relationship construct in most modern societies world-wide for several millennia or the advent of the Christian era. In modern society what is actually practiced is “serial monogamy”. In effect, we have a series of lovers or spouses; one at a time. In our culture, marriage and monogamy are the two pillars that have sustained communities and supported an entrenched patriarchal system. Marriage is glorified, romanticized, and sold to us through imaginative and fantastic fairy tales. Packaged through part fantasy and part religious duty, for most of us, marriage is the ideal.  I am in no way trashing serial monogamy or the institution of marriage. As a free thinker I am simply endeavoring to ask the right questions here. 

Both monogamy and marriage can be beautiful and vital life experiences for those who choose it. The idea of two people choosing a lifetime of love has been romanticized in western culture for thousands of years. We fantasize about it. We celebrate it. We toast to it. We write novels about it. We sing songs about it. We search for it. We long for it. Monogamy and marriage offer numerous advantages and disadvantages – both bring great security, but demand the greatest restrictions. The flip side is that with all of the benefits, both monogamy and marriage hold the potential to make a blood sacrifice of the needs of the individual for the requirements of the “couple”.  Many are left as sacrificial lambs on the altar of marriage and monogamy and great psychological suffering exists within the privacy of marriage as a result of this; hence the ubiquitous “unhappily” married couple.

In spite of its deficits, monogamy, as well as marriage, for thousands of years has stabilized society through the strengthening of the family unit. In this matter of family stability, both have served civilization well, but we must acknowledge that for some people, long-term marriage and monogamy may not provide the personally deep rewards and satisfaction promised.

The fact is that for some, this relationship construct fails to meet expectations for both women and men. Systematically, women are enculturated to accept and support monogamy without question. However, many men have never completely bought into the monogamy construct, while secretly questioning its wisdom, and rejecting it in practice. Herein the conflict lies. When it comes to monogamy, women and men are socialized differently. For many women, particularly those seeking to raise a family, marriage is a priority. Women are made to feel as though something is wrong with them if they are not “picked” by a man to be his wife. Women are made to feel that marriage validates their existence somehow. Men, however, are given subtle, and not so subtle negative messages throughout their lives that marriage should be an option and not a priority. Therefore, most women and men are on two different pages when it comes to the merit and the validity of monogamy and marriage. The reason we are seeing very high divorce rates in the western world is because both men and women in the western world, for the first time in history are secretly questioning the concept of having one lifetime sexual partner. The obvious question remains, “Are humans naturally monogamous?” “Can one partner sufficiently meet all of the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of the other over the course of the entire adult lifespan?” “Is our glorification of marriage as the ultimate relationship construct realistic, or is it naïve within the modern context?”

Every 23 seconds a divorce is finalized in this nation. There are close to 700,000 divorces recorded each year in this country. While we fantasize and dream about a lifetime partner, consider for a moment that the median duration of marriage in America has been 7 years for the past half century. In spite of this, we take the risk, and courageously take that daunting trip down the aisle believing that we can beat these statistics and that, somehow, we have an immunity from the marriage failures others have experienced. The larger question is – “Have we failed the institution of marriage?” or “Has marriage failed us?”